This memoir belongs to

Dear Reader

You don't need to be a writer to do this.

You only need to tell the truth as you know it today.

You're here because something keeps pulling you back.
The checking.
The urge to know.
The thoughts that return when you wish they wouldn't.

This guide isn't asking you to fix anything.
It's simply a place to write about what happened, and what it was like to live through it.

You'll write in small pieces.
One moment.
One thought.
One memory at a time.
That's enough.

Some questions may come easily.
Others may take longer.
There is no right way through these pages.

You'll be invited to look at:
what was happening before you checked
what happened afterwards
what you were hoping to find
what kept pulling you back

This isn't about judgement.
You don't need to write much.
One honest line is enough.

Contents

Tap any section to go there directly.

● Teal dot means you have written in that section

Darcy's Note

After my breakup, writing was one of the few things I could still do. I didn't write from a place of strength or clarity. I wrote from where I was.

At first, the pages felt empty. Later, when I looked back, I could see small shifts I hadn't noticed at the time. The words changed. The tone softened.

If I hadn't written from the beginning, I wouldn't have had that record.

This is why this section starts here.

Not to judge where you are, but to record it.

Your Baseline Check-In

This is your starting point.

Before looking more closely at the checking pattern, take a moment to record where things stand today.

The prompts in this section will appear again near the end of the guide. They are intentionally the same.

There are no right answers.
You are simply noticing what is here.
One word is enough.
One sentence is enough.

Urge

How strong is the pull to check?

Example: The pull feels overwhelming. I can't imagine not checking.

Chaos

How unsettled or tense do you feel inside?

Example: My chest feels tight. My mind is busy.

Clarity

How clear or unclear does everything feel right now?

Example: Everything feels foggy. I can't see a way through.

Compassion

How are you speaking to yourself right now?

Example: I'm being hard on myself today.

The Four Layers of Your Urge

An urge doesn't usually arrive all at once.

You might notice something in your body first. Or the thought that showed up. Or the thing that happened just before you reached for your phone.

In this section, the urge is shown as a tree.

leaves: what you noticed first
branches: what happened just before the urge
trunk: what the moment seemed to mean
roots: what it touched underneath

You don't need to fill every layer.
One is enough to begin.

Leaves

What did you notice first?

Before you reached for your phone, something happened.

Examples:
a twist in your stomach
your chest tightening
restlessness or buzzing
the ache of loneliness

Branches

What triggered the urge?

The moment the pull was activated.

Examples:
a friend mentioning their update
seeing their name appear
passing a place you shared
the quiet of the evening settling in

Trunk

What did the moment seem to mean?

What your mind added in that moment.

Examples:
maybe they have already moved on
maybe they are happier now
maybe I did not matter
what if they are seeing someone else

Roots

What did this moment touch underneath?

What it reached into.

Examples:
I am not chosen
I am replaceable
people leave me
I am easy to forget

Anything Else About This Moment

You have named the feeling, the trigger, the meaning, and what sits underneath.

If there is anything else you want to remember about this moment, write it here.

What Happens When You Check

What did you actually see when you checked?

Example: I saw photos of them with someone new.

The First Feeling

What was the first thing you noticed in your body?

Example: A punch of heat in my chest. My stomach dropped.

What You Told Yourself

What did you tell yourself in that moment?

Example: They've moved on. I never mattered.

What You Hoped For

What were you hoping you might find?

Example: A sign they missed me.

What You Were Really Looking For

What were you hoping that would give you?

Example: I wanted to feel chosen.

The Story That Formed

What did you make this mean about you?

Example: I was easy to leave.

The Loop That Followed

How did this story affect the urge to look again?

Example: The hurt kept pulling me back.

What It Took From You

What did checking cost you today?

Example: Time. Focus. Energy I could have used elsewhere.

What Stands Out

What stands out as you sit with this now?

Example: My worth was not on that screen.

Naming Resentments

If this feels like too much, choose one feeling.

Resentment often returns to the same moments.
What felt unfair.
What felt unfinished.
What still catches your attention when you think about it.

This section is not about blame.
It is simply a place to name what still feels unresolved.

You do not need to complete this section all at once. One memory is enough to begin.

Resentment 1: My Ex

What happened?

Example: They posted photos with someone new weeks later. Seeing it made the ending feel final in a way I wasn't prepared for. It felt abrupt and exposing.

Example: Humiliated and invisible. It felt like what we had mattered less than I thought it did.

Example: I kept replaying it long after I put my phone down.

Example: My confidence. I started questioning my worth instead of questioning what had happened.

Resentment 2: Someone Else

(a friend, family member, or anyone involved)

What happened?

Example: A friend spoke about them casually, as though nothing important had happened. It made me feel unseen in my own grief.

Example: Hurt and dismissed. It felt as though my experience mattered less than everyone else's comfort.

Example: I kept thinking about it afterwards. The feeling stayed longer than the moment itself.

Example: My sense of belonging. I wanted to feel considered, not left outside the experience.

Resentment 3: To Myself

What happened?

Example: I kept blaming myself for what happened. I replayed old conversations and looked for things I should have done differently.

Example: Disappointed in myself. I thought I should have known better, even though I was doing the best I could at the time.

Example: I carried the regret with me. It became part of the way I looked back on the whole experience.

Example: My confidence in my own judgement. I started doubting myself long after the situation had ended.

Anything Else That Lingers

If something still doesn't fit anywhere else, let it land here.

There is no need to follow a structure. Simply write what remains.

Stitching the Pieces Together

You are not beginning from nothing.

The pages behind you already hold pieces of your story.
Moments. Reactions. Thoughts. Feelings. Things that mattered at the time.

The next pages are where those pieces begin to come together.

You may copy words directly from earlier pages. You may rewrite, expand, shorten, or leave them exactly as they are.

There is no right order.
There is no need to explain everything.
There is no need to create a perfect story.

Begin gathering what belongs together.

One memory may lead to another.
One feeling may explain a reaction.
One moment may help another make sense.

Your memoir does not need to be written all at once.
It takes shape one piece at a time.

What This Section Is For

These pages are for the moments when something catches hold.

An urge to check.
A conversation replaying in your mind.
A feeling that keeps returning.

The prompts are short by design.
You do not need to write much.
A few words may be enough.
You do not need to explain the whole situation.

You are only writing about what is happening in that moment.

What Happened Just Before the Urge to Check?

The urge rarely appears on its own.
Something often happens beforehand.

Examples:
a difficult evening
seeing their name
feeling lonely
a memory resurfacing

What Is Here Right Now

Keep this brief. No backstory. No explanation.

Examples:
wanting contact
feeling rejected
searching for reassurance
feeling alone with it all

What the Spiral Is Pushing You Toward

The urge is already moving.

Examples:
check their profile
look at old messages
search for a sign they miss me
find out if they are seeing someone

If I Follow the Urge

Where does it usually lead?

Examples:
I will spend the evening thinking about them
I will start comparing myself
I will look for more information
I will probably feel worse than I do now

Pause Instead

The urge is still here.

Instead of:
checking their profile
opening old messages
searching for an answer
looking for a sign

Pause here for a moment.

What could you do instead of checking right now?

Before You Begin

Pause.

This is the same check-in you completed earlier. You are not trying to compare the two. Only to write what is true in this moment.

There is no right way to feel here. Only what is present.

Emotional Check-In

Urge: How strong is the pull to check?

Chaos: How unsettled or tense do you feel inside?

Clarity: How clear or unclear does everything feel right now?

Compassion: How are you speaking to yourself right now?

Start Where It Feels Most Needed

If this guide opened something for you, you do not need to figure everything out today.

The Scroll Collection was designed to support different stages of the checking experience.

Each resource supports a different stage of the journey.

Recognise → Understand → Observe → Interrupt → Regulate → Reflect → Carry

You do not need to follow every step.
You can begin wherever feels most relevant.

1. Recognise

Discover Your Scroll Pattern

The urge to check is not always driven by the same thing.
For some people it is hope.
For some it is anxiety.
For some it is habit.
For others it is the need to understand what happened.

The Scroll Pattern Quiz helps you identify the pattern behind your checking and why it keeps pulling your attention back.

Inside your personalised Scroll Pattern Report, you’ll discover:

• what may be driving your checking
• the traps that keep the pattern going
• a reflection to consider
• the next resource most relevant to where you are

Seven questions. Two minutes. No judgement.
Just recognition.

Find your pattern →

2. Understand

Breaking Free From the Scroll

A digital book exploring why checking feels so difficult to stop, what keeps the loop alive, and why understanding the pattern matters more than forcing yourself to stop.

Available as:

• PDF download
• Online reading version

Includes:

• Companion tapping meditation
• The Science of Emotional Loss
• Human Instincts
• What Love Is Not
• The Five Stages of Grief
• What Is EFT and How It Works

Explore the book →

3. Observe

Scroll Tracker

A practical companion for noticing when the urge appears, what triggered it, what you were looking for, and what happened afterwards.

Not to judge yourself.
Not to measure success.

Simply to begin seeing the pattern more clearly.

Explore the tracker →

4. Interrupt

Scroll Reset Cards

Thirty-six reflection cards for the moments you find yourself checking again.

Organised across six themes:

• Urge
• Shame
• Longing
• What Ifs
• Identity
• Steadiness

Created for the moments when understanding disappears and emotion takes over.

Explore the cards →

5. Regulate

I Am EFT Tapping Series

A collection of guided tapping meditations designed to support confidence, steadiness, self-worth and emotional recovery.

Short sessions.
Simple language.
No experience required.

Explore the series →

6. Reflect

My Story Matters

A guided memoir writing companion for exploring your story, making sense of your experience, and recording what mattered.

Explore the guide →

7. Carry

Arrive Here

A six-month guided journal for showing up one day at a time.
No pressure.
No performance.
No fixing.
Just a place to return to yourself.

Explore the journal →

When I look back, the first word that comes to mind is unsettled.

The pull to check was strong. I would tell myself I wasn't going to look, and then feel the urge rising before I had properly decided.

Inside, there was tension. My chest felt tight. My thoughts were loud. Everything felt slightly foggy. Underneath that fog was a quieter question: Did I matter?

Before I reached for my phone, something would shift in my body. A twist in my stomach. Restlessness. Sometimes it was the quiet of the evening. Sometimes it was seeing their name. Sometimes it was simply the space where they used to be.

The trigger would land, and my mind would fill in the rest.

Maybe they've moved on.
Maybe they're happier.
Maybe I didn't matter.

What this touched was deeper than the moment. The fear of not being chosen. The fear of being replaceable. The belief that people can leave and continue without looking back.

When I checked, I usually saw something small. A photo. A comment. An update. It did not feel small inside. Heat in my chest. A drop in my stomach.

What I told myself was rarely kind:
They're fine without me.
I was easy to move on from.

What I hoped to see was simple. A sign I still mattered. Underneath that hope was a quieter desire. To feel chosen. To feel certain.

The part of me reaching wanted closeness. What formed instead was a story that made everything heavier. I would predict a future in which I would be forgotten.

The hurt would pull me back again later.

Checking took more than a few minutes. It took focus. Steadiness. Perspective. Afterwards, I felt smaller. Less grounded.

There were resentments. I resented my ex for moving on publicly before I felt ready. Seeing it made the ending feel final in a way I hadn't prepared for.

I resented moments when others posted casually around my pain. It felt like my experience was invisible.

Most of all, I resented myself. I stayed longer than I wanted to. I ignored signals that something wasn't right. Afterwards, I blamed myself. My self-trust thinned.

Over time, something small shifted.

Not a transformation. Just recognition.

I began to see the loop: urge, meaning, checking, aftermath. The screen was not holding my worth. The intensity was not proof of truth.

What I wanted was not information. It was reassurance. Connection.

The pull did not disappear. But sometimes I could pause. Sometimes I could name what was happening. Sometimes I could offer myself a little more kindness. Instead of calling myself weak, I could see that I was trying to feel close. Trying to feel safe.

The pull is still there at times. I understand it differently now.

If I hold this story in one sentence:

I was not chasing information. I was trying to feel chosen.

And slowly, I began to see myself differently.

Closing Reflection

Writing about something painful is rarely straightforward.

Some memories arrive easily. Others take longer.

You do not need to have answered every question.
You do not need to have reached a conclusion.

What matters is that you have given your experience a place to exist outside your head.

These pages will still be here if you choose to return to them.

For now, simply leave this chapter where it is.

Copyright

All rights reserved. This publication is part of The Super Glue Healing Library.

No part of this book may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without prior written permission from the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations used in reviews or critical articles.

For permissions, contact:
hello@darcydawe.com

All content, exercises, frameworks, and original writing in this publication are the intellectual property of Darcy Dawe.

Disclaimer

This memoir guide is intended solely for personal reflection and emotional education. It is not a substitute for professional mental health care, therapy, medical advice, or crisis intervention.

All practices, prompts, and reflections are offered as general guidance informed by lived experience and trauma-aware principles.

Every reader's situation is different. Use what feels supportive and disregard anything that does not fit your circumstances.

If you are experiencing significant distress, persistent emotional difficulty, or thoughts of harming yourself, seek support from a qualified mental health professional or contact your local emergency services.

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